Hi all, this is my first experience of being open on an online forum, I just need to get stuff out... I'm 48 years old, 'straight' (sorry, hate labels but just trying to explain), 2 school-aged daughters. My husband passed away 7 years ago & through the grief I've accepted that I don't necessarily need a man in my life. I'm desperately lonely but have realised I just need a partner - male or female, but tbh I think I'm leaning more towards female. I know I can love a person for being a person, gender almost irrelevant. When I grew up, LGBTQ, non-binary etc wasn't a 'thing' and we didn't really have that option. I have had sexual experiences with men and women in the past, and now accept that I am a sexual person & attraction isn't gender-specific for me. My 16 yr old daughter has told me she's 'figuring it out', and tbh I'm a little bit jealous that she's growing up in a society where that's totally acceptable! Only because it's harder for someone my age to be able to meet like-minded people like my daughter has. I need to find out if there are others in a similar position to me? And how do I go about finding them? Any advice greatly appreciated. TIA x
Thank you for explaining your situation so clearly. Firstly, I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your husband, it must have been very hard for you and your children. I hope you have been able to get suitable support.
I think you are right, it is a different age now and much easier to be LBGTQ+ than it was, even though there are still considerable challenges for some.
I am a 64 year old cis gay man so I certainly understand how hard it can be. It was much harder when I was young. I married and had children due to religious convictions but it clearly didn't work out for me. I fell prey to the belief I should and could 'pray the gay away'. On the up side I did have 3 wonderful children - all grown up now but no regrets there.
It is really good that you can talk with your daughter about sexual and gender issues like that. It took a while before mine were encouraging me to find love but they do now. It seems that you understand and accept yourself and want to move on to a new life with more possibilities in terms of relationships but now comes the hard bit, finding someone special. The process is different for everyone - depends on your temperament - how adventurous you want to be, etc.
I always recommend a phone chat to the Switchboard where to can talk at length with very experiences volunteers. Call any time between 10am and 10pm on 0300 330 0630.
I am sorry I can't be much of a help but hopefully you don't feel quite so alone? - there will be many lovely people like you out there looking for someone too. I have no experience of dating sites or apps but if you search for 'LBGTQ+ dating' there are many options for different approaches it seems.