Hey, my name is tatianna and I am very confused about my sexuality. I am 19 and never had a serious relationship with anyone. My most recent relationship was with a female from elementry school. Being that I was in college we didnt hang out alot so it was mostly over the phone. We broke up like a month ago and now I am confused about my sexuality even more. I dont know if i am straight or lesbian. This is because I have talked to boys, but i have had crushes on girl I just never pursed them. I then had my first relationship with a girl and I fell for her, but the feeling have never been mutual for a boy. When it comes to sex I have never had sex with a girl, but I want to really bad. I have said sex with a boy and I didnt like it at all. It was uncomfortable and it hurt a lot and I never want to do it again. does this means I like females? How do I get myself to like sex again ?
Your situation is not unusual, so please don't worry about your feelings. Many people are uncertain about their sexuality, and that's okay. You don't have to fit a box - you are who you are and that can change as you grow older too.
If you can imagine having and enjoying sex with women and not men then that may be your best indicator you are likely to be Lesbian. But no-one can decide that for you, it is up to you what label you are comfortable with and that you think describes you best. Often these thoughts and feeling develop with experience.
I suggest you have a read through the list here - www.outlife.org.uk/what-is-sexuality - it may help you sort your thoughts. You can follow the link at the bottom of that page for advice on coming out - a lot of people find it helpful to have some tips on that too.
Do phone the Switchboard if you are free to do so. Lines open 10am to 10pm on 0300 330 0630
You ask a couple of questions which possibly you may need some professional advice to find the answers. "I have said sex with a boy and I didnt like it at all. It was uncomfortable and it hurt a lot and I never want to do it again. does this means I like females? How do I get myself to like sex again?"
A chat with your doctor (GP) on these subjects would be totally within their remit and regarded as an important mental and physical health issue. They may offer an internal examination to check that all is okay and then address the psychological trauma you experienced. You don't have to have their help but you may find it worthwhile.
Please let us know how you feel about that and how you get on.