I’m out to most of my friends as gay and I’m happy that they know. However, even writing that sentence just doesn’t sit right with me. I once had a councillor and she asked if there were any subjects in particular I would like to speak to her about and my sexuality was one of them - but I couldn't bring myself to say that; this was years ago... Even at work, they’ll ask me about girls and I’ll just go along with it. I know I’m not entitled to tell them I’m gay but its just so uncomfortable to me.
A lot of my friends have relationships and I’ve been wanting one for a while now as I’m 16 and havent had a serious relationship yet. I know that again, its not something thats needed in life, but I really do want a relationship. Im always told I can get whoever I want, but I just don’t believe it when I hear it, they must be lying to make me feel better, right? I also don’t know how to go about getting a relationship as its different to just being straight.
I often wish that I was straight, as it must be so much simpler! I now realise that this post is just riddled with my insecurities and I have gone on many tangents from my original point.
Welcome to the Forums. Sorry for the delay in replying.
Good to hear you are out as gay as much as can be but sorry to hear you feel uncomfortable with that. Many of us feel that way initially but it does get easier as you get older. So often, people are far more accommodating than we imagine. True to say it is your business and you don't have to share if you don't want to. You are entitled to a private life.
Finding out who you are takes time and if you are male it is normally thought you will like girls. Even in this relatively liberal time, you still usually have to 'come out' about being gay before people assume otherwise. From time to time more and more people are not assuming sexuality and remain neutral until confirmed by you how ever you wish to be labelled.
It does sound like you lack a bit of confidence. As you find guys to date and get some relationship experience your confidence should improve. It's always a bit scary starting to date whether straight or gay. I don't think you can say one is easier than the other.
I would encourage you to phone the Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 if you are free to do so. Always is good to be encouraged by the volunteers on there.
Hope that helps in some way and that your confidence grows. Would be especially good if you could get the courage to talk to your counsellor about it. Takes nerve but its a good experience for you to do so. Counsellors are trained to react positively and helpfully, so really there is nothing to worry about there.