Last week I broke up with my girlfriend and I've never felt this bad in my entire life. We'd been together for five years, and even though I knew things just hadn't been working for a long time, I still didn't want to leave her. Since we talked I've done nothing but cry, sleep half the day, cry again, and now I just have no idea what I want to do. I just want the pain to stop.
Thanks for posting. I'm Justin a member of the OutLife support team.
I'm so sorry that you're having such an awful experience. Breaking up with a partner is never easy, especially when you've been with them for many years. I've had my fair share of break ups over the years and a couple of them have left me in a similar position, able to do nothing but cry and sleep on repeat. It really knocks you for six, even if, as you say, things hadn't been working before, most people still care very deeply about their significant other, and when things end it's more than just a single relationship you begin to mourn, its a shared life.
First thing's first: I want you to know what you're not alone in this. There are people and organisations out there who care about you and want to help you through this especially terrible time. OutLife for one! You mention that you just want the pain to stop, and for that reason, the first piece of support I want to drop is the following helplines, just in case your feelings are getting uncontrollable or you're thinking of hurting yourself.
- Samaritans - 116 123 (UK), 116 123 (ROI) - Samaritans runs a 24/7 non-judgemental and confidential helpline where someone will listen to you, no matter what's the matter. It's an incredible service, and you don't have to be suicidal to call.
- Emergency services - 999 - If at any point you've harmed yourself, or think that you're not safe to be left alone, please call 999 and ask for an ambulance. The emergency services will come as quickly as possible.
Now I'm going to direct you to some other services that you might find helpful. These are LGBTQ+ focused and you might find that they're more relevant than some of the other stuff out there.
- Switchboard is charity phoneline run by LGBTQ+ volunteers. They'll gladly talk with you about your breakup, how it's affected you, and might even be able to forward you to some local support. It's an awesome service that has been running for decades. You can call them on 0300 330 0630 10am - 10pm.
- Mind Out also runs a phone line for LGBTQ+ people, which you can call them on 01273 234 839.
- Pink Therapy is an online directory of LGBTQ+ friendly therapists and could be really helpful: www.pinktherapy.com/. If your feelings continue (and though this isn't a diagnosis, it sounds like you might be depressed right now), it could be worth going to see a trained professional.
- If at any point you're experiencing suicidal thoughts, then it can be difficult to know what to do. The main OutLife site has a page that you might find helpful, explaining what suicidal thoughts are and where you can seek support: www.outlife.org.uk/suicide
I hope some of the above is helpful to you. Please don't hesitate to post again to let us know how you're doing. Take care of yourself.