My partner (28) and I (64) have been together for seven years. We've lived together for six years and honestly it's going well but... there are things that make me wonder what's happening sometimes.
For example, either he doesn't have much of a sex drive or he's in this just for the convenience of housing and company. That's a push because he hugs me and kisses me randomly and tells me he loves me but we MIGHT have sex once a week. Me being a bottom he can literally fuck me any time he wants but he doesn't. I've caught him jacking off a few times and he got angry when I walked in on him. He spends almost all of his time either working (which is now from home since Covid took over) or playing games. He's a big gamer and he's CONSTANTLY playing on line.
Honestly, it's tough for me to not have sex. I don't want to cheat but damn, this is tough on me. I want to go get a massage just to have the hands on contact. Actually, I used to get massages once a month and thoroughly enjoyed the relaxation for an hour. Sometimes it would end happily but most times it was a straight up massage and when the masseur left the room I'd finish myself off. Now, BF says no to any massage. I used to go to nude yoga classes. BF says no to that. I was a member of a gay nudist group for like 20 years, BF says no to that too.
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm constantly horny. Please give me some advice I can use that doesn't include breaking up.
Seems you have a lot going on there and I am sorry you are finding so many difficulties with your relationship.
I wondered if you had tried Gay Men's Therapy? You could contact them with pretty much what you have said above and they can sort out a private counsellor for you. The weekly sessions cost according to ability to pay so some degree and are carried out on Zoom. Here is the link to their website.
An initial consultation will put you in touch with someone they think is most appropriate to your needs. I really think you could do with some professional counselling. Is it possible you could even talk with your doctor about it? You don't want this to affect your mental health and they may be able to refer you to Relate or something similar. Your partner doesn't have to be present - it is up to him.
For free you can always phone the Switchboard helpline on 0300 330 0630. As you can imagine at this time of lockdown they are more busy that usual but be patient - you should find something to encourage you by talking it over with them.
Hope this helps in some way. Lets us know how you get on. Simon.