I'm a 32yr old female. I suppose I have always had an attraction to females but never really perused it and have always been with men.
More recently though I've been having stronger feelings and thoughts towards females and would like to explore this more. I just don't know how to go about it... I find it awkward enough approaching a guy I like never mind a girl. I know online dating is possibly easier especially given the current pandemic but again I wouldn't really know where to start. How do I even start a conversation with a girl as a total 'girl virgin'.
Thanks so much for your post, and welcome to the OutLife forums.
Like you I also find it difficult approaching people, and with the pandemic things haven't become any easier. It's a complicated time to meet new people, and restrictions make new experiences harder to find.
I'm a gay man, so don't know a lot about approaching girls, but I do know that it's pretty common for all of us to feel apprehensive when exploring our sexuality. You're exploring your feelings for women for the first time, so it's only natural that you might not know where to start! Firstly, I'd like to let you know that lots of other people are in your situation and that you're not alone. Whether people are in their teens or fifties, they can still be exploring and gaining a greater understanding of their sexuality, and their is a community of friendly LGBTQ+ people and organisations that can help support you. It might feel from your position that you need some kind of 'membership to the club' to get started and talk to other women, but I think you'll find that most people are very supportive of people who are questioning or don't have much experience of same-sex relationships, and also, if you're queer, then you're already a member of the LGBTQ+ community.
Below I'm going to link to a couple of resources below. Whatever you decide going forward, you have to pick the avenue that feels right for you, and go at a pace that feels comfortable.
- Switchboard is an amazing LGBTQ+ helpline staffed by queer volunteers. Whatever you want to to talk about, they're there to listen. It might help to chat to another person about your feelings and maybe discuss how to move forward? Phone: 0300 330 0630 Email: email@example.com Webchat: switchboard.lgbt/
- You don't mention in your email how you identify, but there are lots of social groups out there for people who identify as bi, lesbian, pansexual, or none of these. For instance, Biscuit (https://www.thisisbiscuit.co.uk/5175-2/) lists a large number of bi groups across the country. They're probably not meeting physically at the moment but there are probably ongoing virtual meetups.
I hope that some of the above helps. If not, then please don't hesitate to repost and we'll try and find something that works for you. And do let us know how you're getting along!
I have always found women attractive but I don't know if I just think they are really pretty and cool or that I want to marry them. It doesn't help that I think marriage is a scam and I never want to be married. I know I'm attracted to me, I think. The thing is, I don't know if i'm bi or straight wannabe ~spicy~. Growing up I thought Miley cyrus and Ross lynch were hotties so I'm so. fricken. confused. I also am confused on my gender Identity. I think I would be more comfortable with she/they or they/them pronouns but again, i don't know if my subconscious is trying to be spicy. Also, if I went by she/they, I already know no one would use the "they" and I still don't know if I feel comfortable with either of those pronouns. maybe I'm gender fluid? I could never come out tho. I came out as Bi in 7th grade and to this day I still get asked "are you a lesbian?" I just don't like labels, but I feel like I have to label myself. Or at least get clarification if I'm genuinely attracted to girls. I'm definitely attracted to those dumb thirst traps on TikTok, but I've never had a crush on a girl, and I've had 2 crushes on 2 different guys. My standards are also really high until someone tells me they like me first so.
I'm so confused and I don't know how to go about exploring my sexuality.