So for years I've thought of myself as bisexual, ever since I was the age of 14, I'm now 28. One reason i thought I was bi was because it was expected to me to date and build relationships with men and not women. Even though I come from a Liberal family, they are extremely weird around the idea of lesbians but not gay men. Another reason, is because I am somewhat attracted to men. But they've never led me to distraction. I acknowledge a handsome man, but I've a beautiful and smart woman crosses my path.... Woah.
I've never been in a sexual relationship with women. But whenever I masturbate I only fantasise about women, p*rn I watch is only if women, and I much more attracted to women than men. Which has led me in recent years to think I was lesbian, and not bi.
What makes me scared to fully come out and identify as a lesbian is that: 1. When I told my mum I was bi as a teen, she said "you'll find a man, and you'll realise you're not. You're just confused" 2. I've been physically and sexually abused by male partners, when they've realised I'm attracted to women. And I feel family and friends will blame the abuse for my coming out, rather than acknowledging I've kind of always felt this way. 3. I worry as a now single mother, I'm not going to find someone. 4. I have no idea how to flirt with women. Men are easy, women... How do you flirt and let them know your interested? 5. I'm also in love with my straight best friend, which is why my ex-boyfriend abused me... Even if I openly say I was in love with her or even realised I was gay then.