Hello, I have been together with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now (moved in together after the 1st year). Unfortunately, in the past he had a horrible relationship where his mental health was greatly affected. We are intimate now but did take a year or so for him to get comfortable enough. Since he made a great recovery and I am very proud of his bravery and courage to find himself again.
I love him very much and we are planning our next adventure together to build a life in another country, yet shamefully I fantasise of being intimate with other men whom I want to bottom for. I have never bottomed before. I have been in the closet because of religious influence till I turned 21 and left my home country to study abroad. So growing up I was very confused and conflicted about my sexual thoughts etc. I am out now.
I feel bad for having these feelings because I don't want to hurt him and he doesn't deserve another d*ckhead in his life. Any advice?