Recently I came out as non binary and since then I have seemed to lose all connection to myself. I suddenly feel like I am no longer the person I was, and when people call me by my name it doesn't feel like they're referring to me anymore. I talk about myself in the third person referring to the person in my mind that i'm not anymore.
The problem is since I now don't feel like who I was including my birth name I have no idea who I am now, and the idea of having to rebuild myself is terrifying. Im not ready to let go of my old self or take on a new name or anything like that, but now I feel like i'm living in limbo. Im not sure what i'm looking for in terms of advice but I guess I just want to know if other people have experienced this and that its normal to some degree. I feel like i'm mourning the "old me" that I've been for my whole life as I am no longer them, but at the same time its all came on so fast I don't think i'm ready to move on. I would really appreciate hearing any experiences anyone may have had similar to this and any advice or just hopeful messages.
Welcome to the forums. We hope you find them helpful.
Coming out in any form is always going to be difficult. For some it's easy breezy and they go on as normal. For most it's a challenging time as it can change a lot what's going on in your life. We know many who come out feel like they have given up some form of power. And I get it, it's scary to come not be in control anymore. With your situation, coming out as non-binary is new to many, it's new to those who are non-binary and nobody teaches you how to 1) do it properly and 2) deal with the emotional side of it.
It sounds to me from what you are saying is that you have lost the comfort you had with people and you don't know where you stand with yourself and with others. Like you lost a little bit of your old self.
The good news about that is it gives you an opportunity to be whoever you want to be and it's up to you to do it all in your own time. Many who come out as non-binary do so with all guns blazing. Others it takes time. It sounds like you need time. I think you need to go easy on yourself and listen to what your instincts are telling you. You have full control over your life and how you want to be seen.
I think it would be wonderful for you to speak to some non-binary people who can relate. Depending on your age there are many services. Gender Intelligence is an excellent organisation who can probably support you with these feelings. Here's some info for them: genderedintelligence.co.uk/projects/supportline.
Can you explain in words to me what is about the old you, you miss? I think if you can pin point that then you can figure out how to move forward. Think about where and who you want to be in 1 years time and work towards that. Hope this helps.