I have lived in nyc los angelous london now south manchester.From an early age i was put on Dexedrine or Dexamphetamine it only took three weeks in whitechapel hospital for three weeks with paranoia but the script kept going on and on.It started on 25mg then 50mg 100mg next 125mg and finally 175mg a day or 217 on a prescription.It almost made me addicted to it after six weeks in london.Then the other drugs went with them Amisulpride an antipsycotic sterlorin antidepressant Diazipam 20mg day zopiclone a sleeping pill 7.5 I BROKE MY LEG SEVEN TIMES and a year or so ago i was in hospital nine month.Im now on three pain killers too.Now dexedrine wore off it Im still waiting to see a new phyciatrist Ive been waiting five month.I get so depressed anxious on edge paranoid levitricam a black out pill and ventolin.There isnt much hope my future is not so good.I wake up almost two three times a night or even im on a get high where i cant sleep.Im tring to see if I can get put on Adderall but on nhs it is expensive about 4.90 a box where dexedrinne is only 89p.Yet they go on the street.I wish i was never put on all these drugs elvis marilyn monroe banarama adam ant dexies midnight runners pointer sisters automatic and more who either died or had a break nervous break down and they never were the same ever after.It is a methamphetamine class B DRUG.wHAT CAN I DO IM TOTALLY LOST IVE BEEN TO REHAB IN WILTSHIRE CALLED CLOUDS WITH ROBBIE WILLIAMS AND PAULA YATES FROM CH4 I been to rehab many times but they still eventually put me back on it.LIFE IS HELL.
Thanks for your message and welcome to the forums.
It sounds like you've been put on a lot of drugs for your mental health, and some you might be taking without a prescription? It's really difficult finding a combination that works for some people, and by the sound of it, you have been bouncing between medications for a long time.
Here at OutLife we're not psychiatrists or medically trained, but as someone who's also had problems with being on multiple medications, I think I can relate to the feeling of frustration when you're on medications and you don't feel like your situation is improving. It has taken me many years to find a combination where I feel more stable and able to get through day to day life with relative ease.
As so many of these issues are medication related, my first recommendation would be that you go back to your GP and have a talk about what you're taking, and how it's affecting you. It's their job to ensure that you're either on the right drugs, or that you're referred to the correct psychiatric service that can carefully adjust what medications you're taking so that you start to feel better.
You sound very distressed, so I also want to assure you that if you're ever worried about your safety, whether that's harming yourself, or taking too much medication, there are places you can call.
If you've taken too much medication, or are worried for your safety, then please call 999 and as for an ambulance. They'll take you to hospital where you can will be safe and taken care of by doctors. Don't worry about the current restrictions on travel, if you need to go to hospital for a mental health emergency, then you should go.
Samaritans is also another place you can call, no matter how you're feeling. You can call 116 123, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, for free, and someone will be at the end of the phone to answer.
As it sounds like you might be self-medicating, I'm also going to recommend you give your local drug and alcohol service a call. There's In Manchester there is a service called Change Grow Live, which is offering remote support: www.changegrowlive.org/manchester/alcohol-and-drugs . You can call them on 0161 945 8772 between 9am and 5pm.
Things can, and do, get better for people. So please try and seek some assistance from the above services. I know you're feeling terrible right now, but there is always a way forward for people to live happier, healthier lives.
Please do feel free to post again and let us know how you're getting on. In the meantime, stay safe and know help is out there.