Hi there. I'm a 33 yr old woman who has slowly but surely come to the conclusion that I'm either bi or gay. I have been in a relationship with a man for almost 10 years, but having never properly explored my sexuality it has begun to put a strain on us and especially my mental health. I am doing a little better now we are deciding to take a break or break up, he's very supportive. But the fear and loneliness of suddenly starting a new life, especially during a pandemic, is very, very difficult. I want to find some LGBTQ+ friends and community, I do already have some but I'm not yet ready to talk to them about this. Not really sure where to start but my lovely therapist advised joining a forum to talk to other people who have been through this - so here I am!
If anyone has been in a similar situation (particularly with having been in a long term straight relationship but needing to end it to explore yourself) I'd love to talk.
Also keen to hear all about you all and start to be part of this great community. Thanks for reading xx
It sounds like you’ve been through a lot trying to work out who you are and I can imagine that you must have had a lot of tough conversations with yourself and your partner to get where you are now. I feel for you!
I remember how nervous I was when I first explained my sexuality to someone else and how worried I was that they would judge me. It’s something most of us go through when we start inviting people into our LGBTQ+ worlds and it definitely gets easier with practice.
I want to reassure you that even at the moment, there are lots of ways to make contact with other LGBTQ+ people. Like any social situation, it might take a bit of trial and error to find a space that works for you.
If you’re still feeling lonely and fearful then you might want to talk to someone at the LGBT Switchboard. Sometimes it’s helpful to have a friendly person to run things past. You can contact them on 0300 300 0630 from 10am to 10pm. Their website is switchboard.lgbt/
If you want to find a group somewhere near you then you can try looking at the Stonewall ‘what’s in my area’ page. The link for this is www.stonewall.org.uk/help-advice/whats-my-area . They also have good information guides about being LGBTQ+.
There’s a group called Kenric Lesbians who are running lots of online events at the moment. You can find them here kenriclesbians.org.uk/
www.meetup.com and Eventbrite.co.uk are also good places to find out about LGBTQ+ events happening online.
I hope the next part of your LGBTQ+ journey goes smoothly and that you manage to connect with others with similar experiences to you.