hi all, in briefing, i m from middle east, born and raise in a very religious family who disrespect the differentiation ! i m now 35 years old and my parents keep pushing me to get married a girl t built a family and to live like other NORMAL people. i struggled so hard to push this subject away from their mind but with no success! as with no other choice, i was wondering if anyone is married o been married can help me or give me an advice on how to deal with a kind situation !!?? thank you for your support and your help !
Hi Jack. Thanks for posting your story on the forum. It sounds like you’re in a tricky situation and I don’t think there’s an easy answer about what you should do.
When I was younger, I remember feeling a similar pressure from my family and my community to get married and live a ‘straight’ life. Being married means thinking about the feelings of a wife and children and I didn’t want to get stuck living a double life. I was lucky and I was able to move away from my family and build my life as a gay man away from this pressure.
Speaking to someone that I trusted was really helpful in me working out what I wanted and how I could move forward with things. For me, this started out as a conversation with a therapist, and then I was able to tell my friends and some of my family too.
Things are much better for me now and I have a normal relationship with my family even though I am gay. It wasn’t easy but it was the right solution for me.
I can only talk from my perspective, but I think that speaking to someone that you trust and that won’t judge you might help you decide on what to do next.
If you want to speak to someone who doesn’t know you then the LGBT switchboard (https://switchboard.lgbt) might be a good place to try.
I know it must be hard for you to balance your life with the expectations of your family and I hope that you manage to find a solution that works for you soon.
thank you a lot for your reply and your advice ! it is really hard to do what u have done, and especially here in my country as being gay is forbidden and illegal ! i will check up the link that u sent it to me ! it is rally sad and i know that if i m going to get married it will be hard on the girl that i m going to choose in addition to the children too ! it is really hard to find someone to talk too as i live in a very small town and everyone here know each other and if my dad knew about my sexuality i m afraid of his reaction ! i always have a solution i guess, but it is the hardest !! please always ask about me, just to know that someone in this crucial world carry about me thank you a lotttttt, much appreciated !!