I was directed here by someone I talked to on Switchboard. They said I should try this out. So here goes.
I am a recently divorced lesbian who has gone through a really rough time. About two months after I got divorced I tried to kill myself. I hit rock bottom and I ended up drinking a lot. I started engaging in chemsex sessions and ended up hanging with the wrong type of girls. They got me hooked on G and I used it to escape. I ended up in a spiral and decided to end my life. I failed but in the last two months I have started to fall back into this pattern.
Two nights ago I planned on taking my life again. I realised that this was not good and called Switchboard. They were amazing and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. They said I should check this out and see if I could connect with other lesbians who have or are going through similar situations.
So I guess I don't really know why I'm here. But let's see if this helps.
Welcome to OutLife's forums. We're glad Switchboard sent you here. We've only started these a couple of months. The paint is still fresh.
I'm so sorry to hear about your recent problems. When relationships end it can be tough. Nobody teaches you how to deal with them. You're not the only person to hit rock bottom. But guess what. You're still here and the fact you have reached out means you want to change your life for the better. That's a great step forward.
We're not doctors here but we know of services which can help. Because of your links to chemsex we advice you check out Antidote at London Friend: londonfriend.org.uk. If you're in London there's some groups like the Wandsworth LGBTQ Forum who run groups. www.wandsworthlgbtforum.co.uk. 56 Dean Street also does lots of support groups too: dean.st.
I heard you say you planned on talking your life recently and you made a great step forward by calling Switchboard. But if you ever feel like that again call 999 and tell them how you are feeling. Or go to your nearest A&E and tell them how you are feeling.
Have you ever looked into counselling? It might be beneficial to you with helping get past your divorce and being able to move on.
Please continue to use the forums here too. As I said we are still fairly new and expect lots of new users, including lots of Lesbians to use this service.
Lynn. I've just read your thread. I have to say when I was 20 I went into counselling. It was the best thing for me at the time. I was able to meet with a gay counsellor who could identify with my struggles. It helped so much. If you do choose to go into counselling find yourself a lesbian who can relate to you. It makes a huge difference.
Sorry for not responding. It's been a rough ride but I'm happy to say I'm in a good place at the moment. I've been checking in with Switchboard when times are tough and have applied for counselling. I am no longer engaged in chemsex and I've pretty much stopped talking with the girls who got me into it. It means I've isolated myself but that's not a bad thing right now. I need me time and to figure this out by myself.
Right now I'm ok and every day is a win. I'm getting there.
Hey Lynn, good to hear you’re doing better. The upside of losing friends that are a bad influence, is that there’s more room in your life now to meet new people who you enjoy being around. Hope you find your tribe soon!
Hay all. Just a check in. I feel like I owe it to you all.
It's been about a month and a half since I posted on here. My life is so much better, ya'll. I am sober, I am living and I have people who love and support me. Thank you for being here and showing me love. It all helped.
Still a work in progress but in a place I never thought I would have been in 12 months ago.
Thank you so much for letting us know how you're getting on. It's so wonderful to hear that you're feeling better. This service is always here for you whenever you need it, and feel free to keep us updated as it's always great to hear from our users, regardless of whether they're feeling great or not.