I am new to this experience of liking the opposite sex. I was in denial for years but finally accepted a couple of years ago but still have questions about something.(I am female and cis)
I may be bi. I know I love women but am confused with men, I I don't want to date a man (not interested) but find myself with what I think is a crush. (I get fascinated with them, embarrassed with talking or accidentally touching them and feel drawn to the individual).
But I soon don't like them next day, and frantically try to get back to not caring about them.
I don't love them at all. just interested in things that I'm attracted to: foreign, shy, unusual hair colour. (I like difference). But I don't think I love them as themselves.
I'm actually phallophobic (no bad experience to cause this) and have never been interested in dating a boy. I have had 'crushs' on fictional men but all the time there is an absence of developed female characters. And I like to think they are very feminine and crossdress. Not very masculine at all.